Q: Homework or Playoff Hockey? A: Playoff Hockey.

I have to write a final paper for my Capstone class that's due on Monday, and trust me, I'm working on it... Oh yeah, and there's a movie that I need to have completed by Wednesday, but believe me, I'm thinking about it. There are even more finals to mention but right now I can hardly focus on a single thing. All of this work that must be done, and you know what, readers of Blake's Bellyaching? There's something more important than doing homework on a Saturday: playoff hockey.

 

Now I'm going to work my tail off for the next two hours so that this afternoon at 3:00 PM, I can get comfortable at the bar in Ruben James, enjoy a few cool 22 oz. Budweisers and watch some St. Louis Blues hockey on a screen wider than a city street:

Putting off the only work standing between me and a bachelor's degree: because it's the cup.

Alex Rodriguez, Alex Rodriguez, Alex Rodriguez

The man hit two home runs. That's right, count 'em, two.

Alex Rodriguez has quickly re-emerged as a fan favorite and an essential cog in the New York Yankees' lineup just two weeks into the baseball season. In last night's 5-4 victory over the Tampa Bay Rays in the first game of a three game series, Rodriguez hit two home runs and drove in four of the Yankees' five runs in the game.

The maligned slugger has been ridiculed and has had his reputation dragged through the mud over the course of 2014, but as this season begins to pick up pace, it seems that every night I'm finding it easier and easier to FORG1V3 A-Rod. After all, he's the only batter on the roster right now who can claim that he is earning his bloated salary... cough cough, Carlos Beltran...

The Irony of Jackie Robinson Day

Look, I love baseball, and I am a proponent of just about everything that the sport does to promote itself, but I'm going to take a soapbox here and spout off about one of baseball's silliest practices: Jackie Robinson Day.

Of course I believe that integration in baseball was a good thing, and people of every race and ethnicity should be able to play our national past time without question. I am not speaking against civil rights, but I am speaking against the primitive way that Major League Baseball chooses to honor Jackie Robinson's legacy every year. During today's games, all players across baseball will wear the #42 on their jersey, and somehow this is special because that particular uniform number has been retired from use throughout the sport.

Major League Baseball may have the best intentions, however the actual practice of everyone wearing #42 is confusing and foolish. In my opinion, Jackie Robinson Day is transparent pandering to a society fixated on race relations. I am aware that some people may interpret my sentiments as closeted racism, however I am merely stating the fact that Jackie Robinson Day is overkill. Robinson's number has already been retired across the league forever - isn't that a grand enough gesture to honor his legacy?!

If the Los Angeles Dodgers wanted to wear a patch and hold a ceremony, that would be amazing and I would hope to see them do that every year. However to have every player on every team wear identical uniforms, it kind of smacks in the face of the whole notion of integration - as a matter of fact it feels something like nouveau fascism. Woah, that's ironic.

Puck Drop at The Stanley Cup Playoffs

To follow up on a post I made just yesterday: The Stanley Cup Playoffs start tonight! There are eight games slated for today and tomorrow listed below as well as where you can look to find them on television. If you plan on watching any or all of these playoff match ups, please tell me, because otherwise I'm going to have to go watch at a bar, and I'm honestly getting very sick of that.

Wednesday April 15

Ottawa Senators at Montreal Canadiens 7:00 PM (NHL Network)

New York Islanders at Washington Capitals 7:00 PM (USA Network)

Chicago Blackhawks at Nashville Predators 8:30 PM (NBCSN)

Calgary Flames at Vancouver Canucks 10:00 PM (USA Network)

Thursday April 16

Pittsburgh Penguins at New York Rangers 7:00 PM (NBCSN)

Detroit Red Wings at Tampa Bay Lightning 7:30 PM (CNBC)

Minnesota Wild at St. Louis Blues 9:30 PM (NBCSN)

Winnepeg Jets at Anaheim Ducks 10:30 PM (CNBC)

Catch all the action this week to see who advances to the next round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs! 

Let's Go Blues!

Blake Points and Laughs at Red Sox Fans

Oh, baseball is back. The crushed red brick of the infield, the rolling green grass of the outfield, and the little white chalk line that divides the man from the little boy... or in this case, the man and some middle-aged buffoon who manages to break a cell phone and spill a beer in less than five seconds.

THE ENTIRE .GIF: 

>>> http://i.imgur.com/SZ61xzQ.webm <<<

One of the great things that baseball seems to embrace unlike any other sport is its relationship with the fans. Crowd shots are a necessary break away from the monotony of the "action" on the field at baseball games. The candid antics of the fans in the stands offer viewers a lighthearted distraction and water cooler fodder all at once. At last night's Red Sox game, some bumbling Bostonian helped create one of the most hysterical .gifs I've seen in a while.

The guy is so excited by the sensation of touching Shane Victorino that he blindly and wildly flails his arms, thereby knocking the phone out from a woman's hands. After Victorino graciously returns the cell phone to the young lady, the moron responsible for the gaffe begins flailing his arms again, only to punch the underside of a $10 beer into a different woman's face.

This goon made my morning, and while it may have been a colossal clusterfuck for those involved, it made for a great ten-second comedy short.

Top-Selling NBA Jerseys

The NBA announced their top-selling player jerseys from the 2014-2015 season and I was both disappointed and surprised to learn that Denver Nuggets center Jusuf Nurkić was not among the top five...

Not really though, because the Nuggets are terrible - the day that Nurkić is the person who people think of when they think #23 is the same day that the Nuggets actually win a title, and that's never gonna happen, my friends.

The actual list of top five jerseys looked like this:

5. Derrick Rose, Chicago Bulls

4. Kevin Durant, Oklahoma City Thunder

3. Kobe Bryant, Los Angeles Lakers

2. Stephanie Curry, Golden State Warriors

1. LeBron James, Cleveland Cavaliers

I suppose the story to be told here is that a lot of silly people felt the need to get new LeBron James jerseys after he left Miami. People root for that guy for no reason, and I guess it makes sense; people like watching giants who take four steps to dunk. Not me, though.

As for the other guys, Steph Curry is an exceptional shooter and I'm not surprised to see his name up there, and the same can be said about Durant for that matter. Beyond that, however, I don't know, because Kobe Bryant is about to retire and Derrick Rose is never healthy. "People spend their money on the stupidest things..." says the guy who owns an array of questionable jerseys including Blues defenceman Jay Bouwmeester to former Panthers defensive back Captain Munnerlyn.

Topps Tries To Pass Off the "First Pitch" as a Baseball Card

Times are clearly tough in the trading card industry, and Topps, one of America's most recognized baseball card producers is trying out a new gimmick to sell a few extra packs: Celebrity endorsements!

Consumers now have an added "incentive" in collecting this season's series of cards, because aside from the players on the 32 professional clubs, children and grown nerds alike will have the chance to collect a set of fifteen celebrity first pitch trading cards.

Look, while I understand that it is becoming more challenging for trading card producers Topps to come up with new and innovative concepts, I don't believe that this latest effort is worth the paper it's printed on. There is absolutely no intrinsic value to owning a Biz Markie Oakland Athletics card or a Tom Morello Chicago Cubs card, even for the sake of novelty. This idea is trash and it makes me wary of buying Topps cards because I don't want to spend my money only to find out that three of the twelve cards out of my pack are celebrities making awkward throwing motions.

My message to Topps is simple: Thanks for trying, but don't cheat your customers out of real cards.